We’re at the end of this hellacious Victim jam…. I probably shouldn’t have taken that second palm sized puddle at the end of the first set… I think I was trying to show off… Bad idea… Victim has creeped the living shit out of me and I’ve seen at least three people, obviously feeling just like me, walk away briskly with that too high and terrorized face… Like they just saw a ghost or somethin’… That same demon was trying to get me to leave this place too… I wonder if people that aren’t junkies are equally as freaked out by this tune… If the Boogey Man owned a Country, Victim would be the National Anthem… It’s like the Chariots of Fire for early freaked out runs towards the exits… I’m just glad it’s ending and I was able to stay put… For now at least… The introductory notes of Crazy Fingers begin and they sound to me like the four fingered Hand of Hope is winding the crank of a gigantic Music Box to full tension… The pressure builds and builds and builds and once it’s released this incredibly slow moving piece seems to unwind at a snail’s pace against the incredible tension that was wound into it’s initial ascent… Crazy Fingers was definitely not one of my top choices for the moment but tonight it feels like an entirely new experience… Tonight it feels like a Life Raft that was sent to me from Garcia… It feels as though I’m looking through a psychedelic high school yearbook… Incredible imagery throughout with Deep and Redeeming quotes that seem to infuse New Life into every segment of the experience… The Victim left me in this state of mental and spiritual depravity and despair as I self analyzed my current condition… Victim is like a magnifying glass that enables you to look through the crowd and spot every junkie quickly and easily… Crazy Fingers is completely restoring the small idea deep within me that I may get out of this mess one day… There is some Hope… Initially the hope is a bit muted…. Life May Be Sweeeeeter for this I don’t know… Seeeeeeeeee how it feels in the end… In my state of absolute LSD induced psychosis I realize that if they were ever gonna make a documentary film on the mating rituals of a slug, Crazy Fingers could by all means be the intercourse music… I begin to discover the absolute beauty of it all in an instant… While I struggle to make sense of the lyrics I look to Garcia’s face and he’s singing it as a Father would sing a lullaby to a newborn baby girl… The depth of his expression and apparent emotion tell me that I should be looking far deeper into it all… Billy is in deep meditation… Wouldn’t be surprised if he got some sleep during this one… Mickey has had the evil face on since Victim and seems as if he may be somewhat responsible for pushing the whole thing just fast enough that it doesn’t stop completely… It constantly seems like the rest of the band won’t make it to the beat yet regardless of how far they lag back they seem able to take the last step or two to the beat as rapidly as is required to arrive on time… I’m beginning to appreciate this tune like I never have before… As Jerry solos it’s as if his notes run out ahead of the band before finding a place to rest as the procession catches up… It’s a musical game of tag and I don’t think I ever heard it that way until this very moment… As Garcia goes reaching for The Gold Ring…. And he tries… Phil begins to absolutely pummel my mind with an amazing series of notes that seem to be winding up the Music Box all over again… The tension is ratcheted up to full capacity… The space between the notes seem to say as much as the notes themselves… I can clearly see the various forms of Something New just waiting… To be born… There is a quality to the jam that causes me to feel as though the things of life that have been awaiting me are in the birth canal of the universe and currently struggling through a long and challenging labor… I’m starting to feel like the second puddle was definitely the right thing to do… The hope goes from a once muted thought to a confident proclamation…. Feeeeeeeeeeels like it might be alright!!!
May Lady Lullaby sing plainly for you soft, strong, sweet and true…
Dean Sottile (pronounced So Tilly)
I’m really looking forward to getting to Chicago! Frank Zappa gets almost as much play at my house as The Dead so a band I’m definitely going to see while I’m there is Roister! Not only do they have one of the best Show Posters I’ve seen for Chicago but they have some serious talent including two veterans of Zappa’s touring band, guitarist/vocalist Ray White and bassist Tom Fowler, Ike Willis not to mention Brian “Honky Fubu” Swizlo on keys! There’s a host of other musicians that will be showing up from Zappa’s bands and I’ll meet you there for sure!!! Show starts at 10 but they’ll be playing until the wee morning hours I believe. Tickets are a steal at $20 and it’s at The Abbey Pub.
Thanks always for your words…
FYI: Ike Willis: regular member of Frank Zappa’s studio and touring bands from 1978 until the last tour in 1988. I think he sang alot in those bands too…. butt I’m not an expert….
I’m looking forward to that for sure!!!
Don’t worry Dean. That puddle should wear off in another year or three.
That’s what someone told me 22 years ago… Still waiting…
Some guys have all the luck Dean.
Hey thanks for all the great writing…. which night are you heading to the abby? Im thinking Sat or Sun. would love to say hi…
Probably gonna be like home base for the weekend…
Really Dean? Reruns? I didn’t sign up for this …
Your #1 fan,
Disappointed
LOL, love you brother, and love the set write ups, almost had forgotten about those! 🙂
Can’t believe I’m getting trolled by my own Webmaster…
Love you!!!
Wow, you perfectly summed up the Crazy Fingers experience, puddles and all perfectly. I’ve had the exact thoughts at the same places, spaces, and the spaces between. That experience became the gold ring for me and kept me coming back time and again. Crazy Fingers was always my favorite… Life may be sweeter for this I don’t know, feel like it might be alright!
Is anyone else debating the idea of just throwing themselves into this experience all over again in SF or Chicago? I will be going to all 5 shows and I am just assuming the chemicals will be available like they always were before. Not to sound like a p***y but I am 41 now with a great job, a great family and very happy. Part of me wants to drop like the old days and let it burn but the other part of me really, really likes where my mind and heart is at right now and fears that might get disrupted. Thoughts? Would really like to know if anyone else is feeling this way and what you might do.
I’ve been totally clean for 22 years and will be that way for The Fare Thee Well Shows. I got what I needed from that part of my life and I know that it gave me exactly what it needed to give me. There comes a point where it begins to take more from you than its able to give. I passed that point long ago. Grateful to have known it but nothing gonna bring it back…
Hey, I found this while trying to find something else entirely…I’m a young buck never got to see Jerry but love the grateful dead…anyway I’ve had my share of psychedelic experiences and one that happened to me a few years ago has been sticking out recently…I was at The Annual Rainbow Gathering in PA in 2010…one night during a “main meadow dinner” ritual, this old guy is walking through the circle very slowly, you can tell there’s purpose in his movement, there’s people following him but he’s not got the “magic hat” so I’m not sure why anyone is paying any attention to him. I remember he had a staff with a large crystal of some sort at the top…all I really remember is being totally faced out on one good paper hit, best I’ve had probably, and this guy stopping before me, turning to face me, just me…it was super weird…and I stood up…and I had this feeling like something important was going to happen…and then he communicated some shit to me in like this weird body language that I somehow was frying hard enough to understand…and then after he gets done like, talking with his hands he looks at me and chuckles and says, “that’s old deadhead for ‘puddle me deep'” and walked away…so basically I’m asking if there was a highly evolved wordless language developed on lot…so you could talk without fuckin up the music? Maybe I’m just nuts. Never saw the guy again and he didn’t stop for anyone else….
Our body language went on always and forever! We said a million things without saying a word! Thanks for sharing!
BTW just got done listening to 10/31/91 and some of 10/27/91….your site is great and it’s giving me a hiraeth for a scene I’ve only had little tastes of….the links you provided to all four nights doesn’t work anymore…I am one of those rare young 20s kids who listen to the dead like its water…not that there isn’t other music in the diet but the dead take up a great deal…I enjoyed your Christmas rap (I’ve been poking about) and also am not a Mayer fan by nature lol…it may be because I’m also a musician and my pride would give a left nut to be in his shoes. It saddens me to see the commercialization of psychedelic/hippie/emotional-spiritual progressive culture. I’m rambling now. Tell a kid a story Willya? Ever meet Jerry?