Grateful Dean

We’re somewhere during Space… Garcia is playing around with his midi and it sounds like a dolphin looking for a piece of ass… I’m right on the outskirts of having complete control of my thoughts… If only this Space would end… Phil keeps making the face that Phil makes… You know the one… Like he’s saying “I don’t know what’s gonna happen… I don’t know… Maybe I know… Nope… I don’t know…” He’s Gone preceded Drums so this should be a Weir tune… From deep inside The Space confusion I can hear Weir hinting at the Watchtower… The Space finds a completely silent moment… It’s so quiet amongst so many people, I feel as though I’m almost afraid to say anything… I really want to scream WATCHTOWER!!!!!!! Letting everyone know that I know… I don’t because I figure that would make me an asshole… It’s OK to know all by yourself… A guy near me breaks the silence by screaming “BROKEN DOWN PALACE”… What the fuck is he thinking??? Weir’s riffs signal the hurricane of sound that is The Watchtower… The place comes alive in an instant!!! Phil still has the “I don’t know what’s coming” face on… The jams are as hard rockin as they could be!!! Every time it seems like the jam might break down Garcia pulls this string that seems to raise the sail of this Magnificent Ship that instantly rights its course… Weir sings to the ceiling and it seems as though his eyes are constantly in the shadows of his brows… Anybody that ever thought Bob was looking at them while he was singing must have had seats that hung from the rafters… He wasn’t looking at you… Ever… As the Watchtower winds down the first notes of China Doll can be heard hidden somewhere underneath the closing notes of The Watchtower… It all seems incredibly perfect… The story of this Doll begins to unfold with so much meaning… For the first time I innately realize exactly what the Hurdy Gurdy signals and completely understand my need to abide it… The music is haunting yet absolutely beautiful… As Jerry sings “Stranger Ones have come by here” you look around and spot each one of them… You intuitively seem to know what’s going on with people around you… That guy is nervous… Those aren’t his seats… He’s hoping nobody comes back for them… That girl is thinking about her sister… That dude is trying like hell to control his high but Puddles don’t come with steering wheels… He can’t abide it… Everyone’s Soul becomes transparent as the Music completely lifts the veil on every insecurity and ego in the room… It’s Fuckin Wild… My nipples are so hard you could hang a shotgun across them… The entire band is perfectly orchestrated with Candace in command of the lighting accompaniment as the sweet harmonies blended together and piercing through the darkness as we all can’t help but to think in our minds (Holy Shit there is so much beauty in this darkness and I totally GET IT!!!) and then the moment comes…. “Take up your China Doll…. Take up your China Doll……… It’s Only fractured….. Juuuuuuuuuuuust a little Nervous from the fall………. Laaaaaaaaaa La Laaa La La La La Laaaaaaaaaa!!!” You realize in that moment that you’re not totally broken… Only fractured… You couldn’t stop the tears if you tried… Just a little nervous… It’s gonna be alright…

Another moment of complete surrender to the process of Character Development brought to you exclusively by The Grateful Dead….

Dead To The Core,

Dean Sottile (pronounced So Tilly)
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