Grateful Dean

When I think of SPAC, the first file that comes up in my internal data bank is June 18, 1983. One of the best Dews ever! Saratoga has been a destination known for great shows and great times for decades and Tuesday was no different. My favorite musicians & Company were up against the night after THE night. The Hell In a Bucket opener, Next Time You See Me and Loose Lucy had hangover written all over em. I understand from the commentary on the scopes and streams that for some folks every song is the greatest thing ever and I’m happy you felt that way. May your ability to think everything is wonderful at all times never diminish!

To me, things picked up during the Half Step when it seemed like the mojo started kicking in a little. It felt like the band woke themselves up at that point with some jams that started to help shake off the haze from Boston. After shows like Boston, It would be good for the band to have an extra day off. Brothers need some extra rest after huge weekends in Big Cities. As soon as I get the gig managing them, I’ll fix that shit! Weir proved he’s still like Viagra for women with Looks Like Rain. It was beautiful and while I have no desire to sleep with Bob at all, I respect your desire to do so… Dire Wolf was forgettable even though I remembered it. The Sailor-> Saint closed the set in its first appearance since Utah, almost 2 weeks ago. I love it, always have, always will!

My hopes for the show improved considerably after the second half of the first set and I imagined it was probably time for a China-> Rider. I was totally correct! The first notes of Chinacat utilize the abundance of smoke in the air from intermission to fuel one of life’s happiest musical journeys. The jams were great and as my mind and body drifted into the Rider… We get Deal… I imagine that seemed like a good idea to somebody… That’s all I’m gonna say about that… The Deal got to full blown rage mode and Oteil went full Jam Band Beyonce on it! Brother finally got his legs back from Sunday… John was stellar and blasted off on that one as well.

Then the openings notes of China Doll… With the addition of China Doll to the rotation, for me, it has become one of the sonic treasure chests I always hope to hear opened. It was everything you could want from a China Doll. Oteil was deep and probably still burning some of the fuel that was left in the tank from Fenway. He became holographic as the song passed through him. The China Doll was like wind and Oteil was the flute. John’s solos were inspired and capable of producing deep and unusual thoughts in the minds of those receiving the message. It was a moment to release the inner critic and embrace the fractured places that exist in humanity. A time to break free from the nervousness of the fall, if possible. I talked to Oteil yesterday about the many revelations and insights that LSD provides for those that have used it properly. He made a great statement. We were talking about The Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden and shit like that and he said, “You can’t unbite The Apple!” It was a great statement and resonated deeply. It seemed like he was able to access a place last night without requiring the chemical to open the door. It’s all fully there and able to be visited at any time. Once you’ve been “there” before, it’s much easier to get back. If you’ve never been “there” before, it’s difficult to know where “there” is in the first place. In the context of Grateful Dead music as well as life, Oteil is fully there!

The national anthem of Grateful Dead Land, Terrapin, followed and the first half of the second set took minimal expectations and far exceeded them! Drums and Space gave me enough of a chance to get reacquainted with my inner critic that was silenced by The China Doll. I fed him spinach and beverages made with Kale, a condiment that got promoted to a main ingredient somehow. After listening to drummyness and spacey sounds I was prepared to get re-engaged with the program.

This is where people tend to get upset with me… I was extremely excited to hear the sounds of Watchtower coming out of space. Mama fuckin Mia, The Watchtower resembled The Jehova’s Witness Newsletter more than it resembled the Dead’s version of the Dylan song. The awkward spaces in between verses take any forward moving energy and completely pulls it backwards. Weir has been doing that for a while now and it clearly sucks the life out of any song that has to experience it. Eyes has to suffer through that as well. Musically, it feels like when you’re walking down a flight of stairs and once you get to the bottom, you still think there’s one stair left. You take that awkward step without another stair existing and hyperextend your knee, roll your ankle and look dumb as shit. That’s musically what happened during Watchtower. No efforts to save it were successful. I believe at one part, Weir may have started ad-libbing lyrics like some kind of psychedelic rapper on way too many sleeping pills. As that song died a slow painful death, it was appropriate to sing about another death with Black Peter. Although the lyrics said, “Tomorow, maybe go beneath the ground” based on the Watchtower, it sounded like the more appropriate lyric might have been, “Yesterday, maybe went beneath the ground”. That’s all I’m gonna say about that… I wonder if expressing my honest feelings prevents me from moving up in the world sometimes… I’m gonna meditate on that!

I was right when I called the China-> Rider, I just didn’t realize the transition jam between Chinacat and Rider was gonna include Deal, China Doll, Terrapin, Drums, Space, Watchtower and Black Peter… It was great to hear The Rider and was a sharp reminder to me that regardless of the twists and turns the music takes on any given night, regardless of how good or how not as good it sounds, I’ll miss this shit more than I miss anything when it’s gone. While I’m not a fan of breaking up things like Scarlet and Fire, Slipknot and Franklin’s or China and Rider, maybe it was the most appropriate thing that could happen last night. The reminder that regardless of what I experience, it will be abundantly better than not experiencing anything at all. GDTRFB made everything feel better.

The show for me was like a Shit Sandwich with really good bread! Sure there was some shit in the middle somewhere but the fuckin bread was outstanding!

I love everybody and I know my opinions don’t speak for all, they only speak for me. I love the musicians, I love the community, I love the experience. I always hope my words are never taken as something they’re not meant to be but that’s inevitable at times. I’m grateful for this journey and every single note that has been and will be played in the concert that makes up my life. I have no shortage of sour notes in my past, present, and future. Ultimately, when we look back, we hope we’re remembered by the brightest spots. In the case of this music and this band, that is already assured.

Love You Forever!

Dead To The Core,
Dean Sottile (pronounced So Tilly)

@gd50th on Twitter

Grateful Dean on Facebook