Dead & Company’s tour came to a screeching halt when the member voted, “Least Likely To Have Fucked Up Shit Happen With Their Health” had some fucked up shit happen with his health. I always spend some time during my day meditating on the health and well being of my favorite musicians. I gotta admit, I spend less time on Mayer than anybody. While I’m praying for Bob’s temperament, Bill’s spine and visualizing Mickey’s gallbladder free from stones, I always just pass by John briefly meditating on him keeping all his hair or something. News of John’s appendix spread pretty quick and by 3PM, I imagine his hospital room looked like the New York Botanical Gardens. After all the menus circulated last week regarding everyone’s food choices on tour, I’m starting to think y’all might wanna eat some ribs and shit. Apparently, all that shit masquerading as health food fucked him up. There’s really too many jokes that could be told regarding this but for now John, You’re gonna want a bed to rest your pretty head and a little sympathy.
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