Tag Archives: Garcia

WeirandPhil

In a show of respect, love and brotherhood, Bob Weir showed up and played with Phil and his son’s band at SOB’s in Manhattan last night. Since rumors have circulated for quite some time that Phil thinks Bob is an SOB and Bob thinks Phil is an SOB, SOB’s was a perfect place to put all of that to rest. Now rumor has it that Bob actually sang Looks Like Rain to Phil. While many of US assumed there was friction, according to Bob’s heart, The Landscape is empty since Phil has been gone… I have to admit, I’ve been guilty of assuming that might be a trashed relationship but it’s obviously not the case. Phil walked right into Bob’s arms after he sang everyone’s favorite Love Song and shared a hug that looks much longer on a still photo than it actually was. Robert Smithers had one second to get this shot and he was successful. Great picture Robert! It was filled with Love either way! With Weir’s schedule, he obviously didn’t have to make this appearance and it’s great to see, once again, that when it comes to the feelings and relationships of the people in the inner circle, most of US really don’t know shit. Carolyn Garcia contacted me earlier in the year on one occasion to let me know that I didn’t know shit about something I wrote. It had to do with the personal lives of the band. She mixed it with a compliment and used words that caused me to feel honored while she was saying that I didn’t know shit. I was honored! I’d rather have a Garcia tell me I don’t know shit than 10,000 fans tell me I do! She said something that stuck with me and that was, “Stick with what you know!” Since then I’ve taken her advice and it goes to show, most of us don’t know shit about a lot of the things we think we know some shit about. It was a GREAT moment at SOB’s last night. There is obviously no bad blood between Bob and Phil.

I was fortunate enough to get an advance copy of the latest Grateful Dead book that will be hitting the market next Tuesday.

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This Is All A Dream We Dreamed, An Oral History of the Grateful Dead by Blair Jackson and David Gans is The Grateful Dead Story as told by those that were actually part of it. For many of us, Blair Jackson and David Gans have been the link between the inner circle and the outer circle of our community for several decades. They’ve combed through thousands of hours of interviews and conversations they have participated in, with those closest as well as those in the band, to convey a first hand look at the history of our favorite topic. Instead of guessing what Garcia might say in regards to any given topic, this book gives you plenty of things he really did say instead of assuming. While many bits and pieces that make up the book have appeared elsewhere before, it’s packed with new stories and conversations that have yet to be seen. The book takes pieces from the stories told by the characters that make up Our Community and places them within the proper context and time period from which they came. Since the book is largely comprised of short pieces by different individuals, even the most burned out meatheads can navigate their way through the adventure without losing steam. This approach seems to make reading large chunks of it just as easy as picking it up for a minute or two. That is a tremendous accomplishment when your book is aimed at a community with a good deal of members that have absolutely no clue how to pay attention. I think the ladies will be happy that there is a lot more input from the significant women in and around the scene. Blair and David obviously felt like this was an important piece of the picture that has been limited in other historical perspectives. You’ll definitely hear more from the women at the center of it all than you have before.

Many of us are currently spending a little more time than we have in a while on planes, trains and automobiles. A little more time than usual in hotels, motels and parking lots, if ya know what I mean. It’s great to have something new to read while flying, travelling or waiting for show time. This book will keep you engaged from the minute you pick it up. As a collection of stories told by others, there are really no parts that are difficult to get through. It’s a story we all know, full of characters we all love. What could be better than having all of those characters tell it to US, all in one place? That’s exactly what happens in this new addition to any Deadhead’s required reading list for winter. Whether you grab it on Tuesday or put it on your Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa list, I guarantee you’ll have a blast as you learn and relive the days that make up the history of The Greatest Live Band the earth will ever know. Nothing is better than a history book that’s told by the people that were actually creating it! David Gans, in his humility, downplays the role he’s played for many of us throughout the years but for me, he has been a bridge between the Center of Grateful Dead Land and its inhabitants. I appreciate how Blair and David have taken the pieces of our past and arranged them for us in a way that is both extremely enjoyable and easy to read. It’s a scrapbook you can read and a highlight reel from decades of interviews and conversations. My attention span is shorter than the line for the women’s bathroom at Phish Shows and I am completely sucked into this book. Pick it up on Tuesday or put it on your holiday gift list! You’ll be glad you did.

More Dead & Company coming right up! Where did you get your cheese steaks, Pat’s or Gino’s? There’s gonna be free tickets all over the place for MSG on Saturday. If I were you, I’d show up!!!

Dead To The Core,

Dean Sottile (pronounced So Tilly)
@gd50th on Twitter

FILE--Grateful Dead's singer Jerry Garcia is shown performing in this June 30, 1995, file photo in Pittsburgh. A lawsuit over five of Garcia's prized guitars, bequeathed to Doug Irwin who built the instruments for Garcia, will be allowed to proceed, a Marin County Superior Court judge said in a tentative ruling Wednesday, June 20, 2001 in San Rafael, Calif.   (AP Photo/The Register-Herald, Chris Hancock, file)

Dear Jerry,

I feel like an asshole writing you this letter, especially since Robert Hunter wrote you one 19 years ago and he was your partner in creating the entire soundscape of our past, present and future lives. Nobody comes close to Mr. Hunter when it comes to writing and besides that, the two of you were really tight. Me, I’m just another nobody out there that was having my life transformed by a movement that didn’t know I existed. I guess you knew we existed… Shit, we followed you everywhere. When you played, you looked at us like we mattered and an instant like that with you lasts a lifetime for people like us…

Time goes pretty fast down here on earth except for when it goes kinda slow. My kids seem to grow up pretty fast except it only feels that way when we’re blowing out candles. Every birthday makes ya think, “Time sure flies.” Strange how the days and weeks that make up those years seem to go really slow most of the time. I’ve felt that way when I reflect on your life. The days we had with you felt like they would last forever until we abruptly realized they wouldn’t. We all remember exactly where we were when we heard the news… It’s impossible to forget… I know my Dad passed away in April but I still have a hard time with the date… August 9th I could never forget… I imagine if folks are allowed to have human emotions like being pissed off up there, My dad is still probably a little pissed off about that. Hope you two have had a chance to play together by now, he’s an amazing Sax Player. Grandpa was a professional piano player but, Lord knows you don’t have any shortage of them up there… I’ve often thought of what God’s singing voice might be like. I’m sure it’s fantastic but I still bet you can carry a tune much better. It takes surviving some sin to sing a song like you can sing em.

When I think of the things I’d like to say, it’s such a mixture of Thank You and I’m sorry. I don’t know which to start with and I’m sure the Thank You list is most of the same shit you heard a million times during your life. You always seemed to be the type to take a compliment as awkwardly as possible. I think we all like hearing nice things about ourselves but I also understand how awkward admiration can feel for some. It would feel strange to endlessly thank you for what came as natural to you as walking down the street does for me. I could only imagine taking a walk around the neighborhood and having all the folks that live around me come outside and say shit like, “Awesome Walking Dean!!!” or “Your walking changed my life!!!”, “I’ve been watching you walk since 78!”. I’m sure I’d attempt to be as cordial as possible but I’d feel a little strange about it all.

When I think of all the ways I could apologize, I imagine I was as tiny of a part of my apologies as any… I’m sorry that we never wanted to give you a fuckin break… I’m sorry that the sound of your song became as much of a drug to me as any of the drugs I had to kick in the past. I’m sorry that we made it really hard for you to have any peace or anonymity. I guess that comes with the gift though. I’ve said before that size of the bucket that holds your gifts usually comes with a bucket of the same size that holds your burdens. If not burdens, certainly temptations. It seems like the individual that holds those buckets in life is typically more acquainted with the burdens than they are the gifts and when they look at themselves, would be much quicker to dismiss the size of the gifts based on intimately knowing their own trials and tribulations. You came across that way and I think it caused everyone to love you more. There’s something charming about an individual that possesses such a unique gift that presents themselves as if it’s not that big of a deal at all. More shit you’ve probably heard a million times before…

There’s a bunch of guys down here that try to do what you did all those years. Most folks like them much better than I do. I’ve yet to hear anything close. They play your stuff and try to act the part but Mickey said he’d rather drink 5 gallons of Clorox than play with them and I tend to agree with him. My 3 year old sometimes acts like he’s Spiderman and while he’s really adorable and committed to the role, he’s not even close to being Spiderman. That reminds me of most of the guys that think they can play your role. Folks talk about taking the music further but I’m not sure how that’s possible when there hasn’t been a single tune that’s been played without you that has sounded better or gone further than a single one with you. I think it’s more appropriate to have a desire to be sure the songs live forever and I admire the musicians that are doing that but I’ve yet to hear a song be taken “further”. The music is being carried on to the next generation and that’s important.

We had some crazy parties down here for the 50th! It’s funny that I tell you that like you don’t know. Your daughters are beautiful and they have that same spark within them that you had. They don’t require anything flashy to stand out. There’s the same kind of vibration about them as you had. I can’t help but look at Trixie’s face and see the picture in my mind of her sitting on your lap at New Years when she was close to my daughter’s age. Carolyn was a wise choice as Matriarch. She’s strong and wise and obviously did a fantastic job raising and guiding them. She sent me a message once and told me I sounded like I was drinking Fool Aid. While she wasn’t paying me a compliment, I couldn’t help but to laugh at her choice of words. It reminded me of the night I met you in the bar at The Desmond in Albany and you refused my request for an autograph. At least when you did it, you looked me straight in the eyes and were as nice as someone could be when saying “No”. You didn’t ignore me or pretend like I wasn’t there. It meant nothing to you but everything to me… It means more to be denied by a Garcia for trying than to be accepted by a thousand others for nothing. You gave me a minute of your time and that was worth more than signing something that I probably would’ve lost.

I couldn’t help but to wonder what your face would’ve been like while Phil was singing Eyes. I imagined it may have been similar to mine when my son is being Spiderman. We all had a great time and the feeling of the best years of our lives came back to us so strongly that most of us have had trouble going back to the lives we created in the 20 years since you split. You were honored for sure and I know you enjoyed the experience. As much as folks talked about you being there in Spirit, we all wished you were there in molecules and matter instead. Looking at a stage without you on it is like looking at your hand. It’s so obvious to see that something is missing. Crazy how that accident ended up creating an image that would always be a symbol of your legacy.

We miss you every bit as much now as we did 20 years ago. That doesn’t happen for many folks. When folks pass, one of the things that brings me comfort is thinking they’re listening to you play again. Free from all the bullshit. Free from fanfare and everything else. Free from expectation. Free from folks endlessly calling your name… Free from everything… I’m glad you’re free… I hope one day I get to talk with you like 2 people that love music. I’ll be free from all the fanfare and everything else… I’ll be from all the bullshit and intimidation… I’ll be listening to you play once again… I’ll be glad I’m free… I hope that place exists and we’re both part of it…

Dead To The Core,

Dean Sottile (pronounced So Tilly)