Tag Archives: DEAD 50

levis-stadium

A wave of ecstacy has crested over the inhabitants of Grateful Dead Land for the second time in 4 months as the band officially announced 2 shows in Santa Clara, California the weekend before Chicago. Sure, it was announced unofficially by Bill Walton, The Sporting News, Jambands.com, Relix, Festivalhappenings.com, The Victoria’s Secret catalog, pamphlets at Tourist Welcome Centers, every fan that pretends to have connections, every fan that doesn’t and the least connected of all sources, The Official Home of Unofficial Grateful Dead News. While I’d prefer another video by Trixie, the silver haired Fox that sits on the throne of sexiest Dead Family Member, in my eyes, I’m glad they handed the official duty over to David Gans. He’s a brother that deserved the job. I hope I never meet Trixie… I’m sure my words would probably come out similar to those times in my early days of touring when I thought it might be a good idea to call home during intermission to ease my parent’s concerns since I hadn’t been home or called in a month. I’d have a case of boiling brain and run to a pay phone. When my mom answered I’d attempt to talk and something like, “She wanna buy a tender cannon shallow Garcia bacon mule” would come out. I’d hang up immediately due to scaring myself. I’d imagine I could possibly be exactly that composed meeting Trixie. Love ya Trixie! You’re way hotter than Bob! I digressed…

It’s clear that there’s a lot of people that can keep a secret like Sammy “The Bull” Gravano in “The Family”. This story had more leaks than the Titanic. When Bob Weir was asked about the additional shows he stated, “Even a blind man knows when the sun is shining!” Then he rushed the mic, threw a chord into the air, flipped his head back, went way falsetto and said, “HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I can feel it too!” The unprecedented demand for more Dead far exceeded the expectations of nearly everybody in the Dead Camp as well as the entire music world. While most of us have never stopped talking about the Dead since the 70s and 80s, people that have paid no attention to them ever are completely on board. Money is coming in quicker than it has since “Touch Of Grey” reached number 9 on the Billboard charts in 87. This time around the guys are more prepared than ever to capitalize on their last run of this magnitude. With Bob and Phil both owning watering holes and Meccas for live music in relatively close proximity to Levi’s Stadium, they’re taking home The Pregame Gold, The Main Event Gold and The Post game Gold. It’s pretty clear that the Illuminati could learn a few things from the Dead. Have The Dead been the leaders of the Illuminati all along??? SHATNER MOMENT (Incredibly overdone emotional outburst complete with frantic body language (Thanks Allison)!!!!!! I digressed…

When it was only one weekend in Chicago it seemed like we could all just enjoy a historic moment, on a holiday weekend, with people we love and The band that gave us most of the tools we have for living a life of kindness and absolute fuckery. With addition of more shows, thousands of people are now considering leaving their spouses, their homes, their jobs and every other thing they’ve accumulated during the past 20 years to chase the irreplaceable days of our youth. Even though the shows have been scheduled on weekends, one can’t help but fight the urge to act like a 20 year old whose parents think they’re at college. Many people have already collected over 60 tickets for events that precede and follow the Main Event for every show they’ll be attending. They’ve all done so forgetting they’re not 20 anymore and they’ll be ready for bed by the time The Dead finishes the first set.

One of the more profitable ideas, in my opinion, would be napping stations. I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna require a few naps if I’m gonna be full throttle when I wanna be. I’d pay good money to check into a napping station. By the time Space comes around, the Stadiums will resemble nursing homes more than concerts. People with absolutely flaming sunburns will have completely crashed in the most awkward positions, head way back, mouth wide open, neck all jacked up. Maybe people will get enough sleep during Intermission and Space to have ample energy to leave the building. You’ll remember reading this when you see the snoozers.

With a capacity of up to 70,000, I’m sure Levi’s will be a suitable venue for these shows. The madness and mayhem starts now! Have fun y’all!!!

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Screenshot_2015-03-26-18-22-50

I think the most exciting development in Grateful Dead Land this week had to be The Iron Sheik calling me out on his Facebook Page. Peter Shapiro is in the process of securing a venue for a No Holds Barred, Steel Cage Match between the Iron Sheik and Yours Truly in Chicago, 4th of July weekend. Mail order ticketing and VIP Packages to the event will be announced shortly. I promise to get tickets into the hands of the faithful and out of the hands of scalpers. As for the Sheik, I put him in Hateful Dead Lock of Dread, I break his neck, I kick his lifeless donkey head, I make him humble!

A venue will be hard to come by since, as of now, every jam band that ever existed has booked dates in Chicago for 4th of July weekend. Apparently, the carcass the Dead drag around can feed every single Dead inspired configuration with enough meat to be eaten for over 4 days. Everybody knows that the best way to celebrate the weekend is to have every Dead cover band that ever existed play the Dead’s music before and after the Dead, all weekend long. With dozens of options before and after every show, I have a question, Does anybody sit the fuck down and have a conversation anymore??? Does anybody else wanna chill with some jazz being played by relatively unknown local musicians, at volumes that permit us to talk about something either completely relevant or completely irrelevant? I’m not fueled by narcotics any more so I doubt I’ll be up to 7 concerts per day. Either way, there’s more than enough for ticketless people to do in Chicago 4th of July weekend.

I’m sure I’ll see y’all at some after parties and I’d like to thank everyone that’s offered to buy me a beer. If I took everyone up on their offer, I’d be absolutely comatosed.  I’d have a weekend filled with those moments I had in the 80s and early 90s. Those moments when you think you’re dancing until someone steps on your fingers. The moments you realize, once the sun starts coming up, that you’re somehow asleep… In a shopping cart… On the median of a highway… Without your shoes… In a different state of the country other than the one you started in… While those days are fun to talk about now, they weren’t always as fun as it is to tell the stories 20 years later. I’ll take a club soda, Thanks! At least when I spill nowadays, stains are actually removed.

What comes back to me this week is a couple of things. One is a peculiar run in I had a while back. The year was 1989. It was the New Year’s Eve run at the Oakland Coliseum. Space seemed to be getting less spacey and I was running pretty quick to get back to my spot before the music started again. While doing a poor job of watching where I was going and making a sharp turn, I ran full speed into what seemed to be a hot book bag full of bowling balls and vinegar. It nearly knocked me out. What I ran into was Bill Walton’s nuts. I looked up past the circling tweety birds  and apologized to this tree of a human being that at the moment was like The Jolly Red Giant. He didn’t budge 1 inch as I ran at nearly full speed, directly into his groin. It hovers at about the same height as my head apparently, when I’m in a running posture. Happy faced and totally unscathed by the incident, he just smiled and said, “Happy New Year!”

That brings me to my other memory. The impact the Dead have had throughout the years on everyone and everything around them. Every Internet news site has gotten involved in writing pieces about the Dead simply because the mention of their collective name drives thousands of people in their direction. Name any one of them individually and not nearly as much happens. Write about “The Dead” collectively and absolute magic happens. Even the Sporting News got in on the action this week after the Jolly Red Giant and long time friend of the Dead, Bill Walton, tweeted about the Dead playing in Santa Clara. It seems as if Walton got a call from Weir after the tweet that went something like this, “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!” as the tweet was deleted shortly after it was posted. EVERYBODY wants in on the action. Hippie chick dresses and tie dye sales have increased astronomically since January as everybody is dyeing to get a piece of the massive wave of financial increase the Dead leave in their path, wherever they go. The Dead have done more to simulate the economic activity of people generally opposed to working altogether than any President or stimulus program in history. The amount of prosperity directly tied to their recent activity is immense. Their event is directly responsible for the abundance that thousands are experiencing as a result of just showing up around them. Are The Dead “cash grabbers” or is the community that instantly appears all around them? I wish I had some kind of talent that made me something other than another customer about now… Clearly the answer to every problem that exists in the world is The Grateful Dead. Most of us knew that all along…

David Gans contacted me last week and informed me that the Grateful Dead Hour is still on the air. For those that may not have known, you can find where it airs near you right here

If you’re able, you can drop a donation to The Grateful Dead Hour here

Radio, like everything else has become dominated by Big Corps selling their artists. It’s not as glamorous today as it was in the past. Do your part to contribute and give back to the scene that created you. It’s healthy for your existence. Those that live to give are always more blessed than the rest.

Will this be a week of total Dead Domination with the Official Santa Clara Announcement? Stay tuned…

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