Ok, we’re done with causes, cases, chaos and controversy here! We turn the page as of now.
Here’s a little something different. It’s a poem I wrote during Jerry Week last year. I still think of something Garcia related on a daily basis, without fail. I’m certain many of you do the same… Here it is.
Been looking for The Silver Lining but this one seems all Grey
Nothing’s been the same since the night you went away
The Story Teller makes no choice, that’s what you always said
It’s funny that we all found life amongst the Grateful Dead
The wrinkled eyes of Heaven know this day as if by heart
The tears through years of mourning that have torn our world apart
You’re the one that brought the treasure and grabbed magic from the air
Everyone craved The Golden Eggs but The Goose that left them there
The blistered hands of time still turn the crank that runs The Wheel
The cards all come back empty every time we get The Deal
Mercy wrote a letter, sent to Death by Standard Mail
The message came back, “Sorry but No Mercy is for Sale”
My face is callused from the salted water my Eyes have shed
Trying to recapture the moments from the memories in my head
I can’t believe 23 have passed since your Graduation Day
Still broken vans with broken plans like dogs that went astray
Another Summer passes by another Winter Near
And still remains the lullaby our ears all long to hear
Your sound is irreplaceable yet we try to turn the page
Where softly grows the silent fire that becomes full grown rage
Days are still found dazing in The Days that Lie Between
And thoughts churn in our souls yet we can’t figure what they mean
To hear a few more notes from you would cure this inward drought
In the spaces in between each one We figured the whole thing out
My thoughts and days are like the style of playing you were usin’
When moments of intense clarity seem to arise from complete confusion
In my head I see your frame, your chin pinned to your chest
Like you’re looking into your own heart and pulling out what’s best
I vividly hear the music build like champagne when you shake it
You took your time getting to the Mic we all wondered if you’d make it
But just as Springtime turns to Heat and Heat then turns to Cold
The only place we find Silver now is where there once was gold
With thoughts of you that never die and no replacement near
We celebrate the life you gave to all of us every year
Your Soulful Sound to Terrapin to Mission in The Rain
We’ll cherish what you gave to us until we meet again…
Dead To The Core,
Dean Sottile (pronounced So Tilly)
inspired reflection of the light
Great poem Dean!! AMAZING!
<3 Cheers to you, Dean. A beautifully written heartfelt ode. As the days come closer to the FTW shows in Chicago, it seems to me that a chaos of confusion and angst and pent up emotion are caught up in the whirling winds of joy and love and pure childlike excitement that these shows (who knew?!) seem to be generating in all of us. Certainly within me. Since the day I made my decision to do what I had to do to make it to these shows, internally I've felt like I've been transported back in time to my first ride on Space Mountain – what must have been over 30 years ago as a single-digit youngster. On that ride I was simultaneously thrilled, terrified, awestruck, hysterically laughing and frantically crying – clinging onto my seat as the crazy zig-zagging jerky smooth roller-coaster was immersed in both darkness and light. What a ride it was. That's how I feel about this 50 year big ol' family reunion. I can't wait, my friend. See ya in Chicago!!!
I couldn’t agree with you more!!!
Well said Brooke, it’s funny that you compare the excitement to that of your first disney experience as a child. I recently said the exact same thing to Dean in a post about my first trip to disney several decades ago as well. It was pure joy and happiness that I haven’t felt as an adult except when looking forward to shows. The last time I felt like this was in 95 waiting for fall tour. The same feeling is back and a huge challenge to contain. I find myself walking around with a huge smile on my face. Can’t wait, see ya in the city!!
Hey Lou. That’s too cool you feel the same way about it! I bet there’re a lot of us like this.. 🙂
What’s getting me – or rather – what is happily surprising me (besides the giddiness and apprehension and joy and heartache and peace that I keep feeling all mashed up together) is that a lot of these emotions have lain pretty dormant in me for two decades. I’m sure I’m not alone in that either. I guess what I’m trying to get at is that, for me, life’s responsibilities or whatever just overtook the SPIRIT that I lived in and loved so much during my youth up to around 1995… and for the span of years between then and now, I’ve slighted, spited and ignored that serenity – that love of spirit – by holding onto the various negative things that can so easily overtake a persons vitality and love. Somehow, very Gratefully, these shows (and the run-off of awesomeness that they are generating) are causing those dormant ideals to bubble happily back to life inside of me. It’s just freaking great. And it’s all coming from that same realm of love/spirituality/wonder that the Grateful Dead have ALWAYS inspired in those of us lucky enough to listen.
Beautiful. Poignant. Deep. So happy to have read this…love it, Dean!
Happy 50 years <3
This really touched my heart. Nice.
I really love this line especially, Dean:
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My thoughts and days are like the style of playing you were usin’
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This line is thick with meaning for me, says it all on many levels really…
Thanks for giving voice to your inspiration.