Category Archives: Grateful Dead

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As reported a few days ago, The Merry Prankster’s Acoustic Acid Test will be recreating Yasgur’s Farm nearly a half century later with a lineup that will undoubtedly leave people wondering why they’d want to leave the undisclosed location for any reason at all. Reaching deep into the rolodex The Pranksters are pulling out more gems than David Lemieux. Surprisingly enough, I’ve found a touch of favor with an Official Prankster or 2 and some information on the upcoming Jamboree will be released through The Official Home of Unofficial Grateful Dead News. The biggest news to hit the Oregon based Headquarters as of today is Neil being added to the list of people that will be performing at The Acoustic Acid Test. Who could forget his hits, “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” or “Love Will Keep Us Together”? Yes indeed, once reserved only at Shuffleboard conventions and occasional runs in Vegas, Neil Sedaka will be taking the Main Stage on July 4th! “Securing Neil to perform on our Main Stage was no easy task” said Derek, one of the leaders of Chicago’s 2nd Biggest event of the weekend. Apparently Neil’s Rider, a part of the contract that addresses the artist’s needs, is fairly extensive. There were a number of things that Neil required in his dressing room. Derek told us, “I guess the first thing we’re gonna have to do is find a dressing room… I figured we’d just have a chair… Mr. Sedaka frowned upon that suggestion.” Neil has requested 2 tanks of Oxygen which Derek was happy to acquire from a local Dentist (wink wink). Negotiations with Justin Bieber’s “People” to have him sit on the bench of a dunking tank filled with piranhas is moving along with little progress.

Early information has caused me to believe that the event will be held on property owned by Indians. I know what you’re thinking, “Tech Support and Internet Connectivity will be Awesome!!!” No my friends, when I say Indians I’m talking Tee Pees, not Tech Support… When I called organizers in an effort to get more accurate information as to the location of this camp, I was told by the group’s leaders, “It’s about a mile and a half south of None of Your Fuckin Business.” According to unofficial reports, a gaming permit has been applied for by an individual named “Haywood Jablowmee” from Oregon. Suspicious to say the least. Fans will be able able to bet on a number of things throughout the course of the weekend and all proceeds will benefit some kind of Foundation that does good shit. So far the odds of leaving the weekend with crab lice are 3 to 2. Odds of being asked for spare change by someone that spent $700 on their tickets are 6 to 4. There’s no odds on doing something you might regret on Monday because chances are too close to 100%. There will be a multitude of other fun things to wager on so stay tuned! You can stay up to date with all the breaking news on the 50th Anniversary Acoustic Acid Test at their Facebook Group

With Official Announcements of Santa Clara coming in a mere heartbeat, the community should be bracing for impact as a fresh wave of complete joyful exuberation followed by weeks of whiny bullshit will be taking off quicker than Neil Sedaka once his set is over. The Official Announcement is a secret that’s been kept from the public about as good as Clay Aiken’s sexuality. It’s clear that the announcements coming at us from Grateful Dead Land are sure to reclaim complete and total internet and media dominance. This space is getting hot…

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The Official Home of Unofficial Grateful Dead and Music News

Preparation for Soldier Field in full swing

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Weir

For throwback Thursday I bring you the piece I wrote that sparked my abundantly fruitful career in Journalism. It was written after days of constant speculation regarding Bob’s condition following the cancellation of all shows nearly a year ago. Here it is in all it’s glory…

Speculation After Weir Cancels All Future Shows

Dear Everyone,

Bob Weir will live but only if you stop talking about him… He hasn’t stopped for 50 years. He’s sick and tired of trying to make you happy at the expense of his own life. You can send all future correspondence to The Bohemian Grove where he will be growing a brand new tree made of the hair of sacrificial virgins. He will rest easy on a Hammock and enjoy his days in a “Clothing Optional” Setting. Following his shoulder surgery he will be nourished with the finest Organic Meats and Produce using only Grey Poupon as a condiment. He will enjoy rehabbing his shoulder by playing ping pong with Jimmy Carter and others closer to his age, level of intelligence and worldly influence.

Afternoon Tea will be shared with those whom are extremely high minded in their own sight and followed by brisk rides on 3 Wheeled Bicycles with long shafted Orange flags that reach to the sky signaling their whereabouts. He will make sand castles and relive the youth that passed him by so quickly due to his commitment to The Greatest Live Band in The History of Civilization.

He will have a picture of every single one of you on his nightstand. It’s a really, really, really large nightstand. Before he goes to sleep at night, he will look fondly upon all of our pictures and, nonverbally but no less sincerely, wish us all a peaceful night’s rest.
It is through this process that he will, for the first time, in all actuality, Wake up and find out that he really is the Eyes of The World. All of the Idolatry and past admiration has prepared him to take on this enormous challenge. See here how everything…. Lead up to this day…

Please direct all Prayer toward his continued vision in the future. If he can’t see, we’re all screwed. As a sidenote, Phil interviewed for the position but unfortunately, or fortunately, wasn’t chosen due to his Contract with Shapiro. He will simply remain the bass player…
In the words of an All Time Great, Bob Marley, “Don’t worry… Bout a ting… Every little ting, gonna be Alright!!!”

Carry on….

And The Official Home of Unofficial Grateful Dead News was conceived…

Preparation for The Dead’s Fare Thee Well shows has begun!!!check it out here.

Gratefully Deadicated,
Dean Sottile (pronounced SoTilly)

www.gratefuldean.com
Facebook Group – The Official Home of Unofficial grateful Dead News

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