As reported a few days ago, The Merry Prankster’s Acoustic Acid Test will be recreating Yasgur’s Farm nearly a half century later with a lineup that will undoubtedly leave people wondering why they’d want to leave the undisclosed location for any reason at all. Reaching deep into the rolodex The Pranksters are pulling out more gems than David Lemieux. Surprisingly enough, I’ve found a touch of favor with an Official Prankster or 2 and some information on the upcoming Jamboree will be released through The Official Home of Unofficial Grateful Dead News. The biggest news to hit the Oregon based Headquarters as of today is Neil being added to the list of people that will be performing at The Acoustic Acid Test. Who could forget his hits, “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” or “Love Will Keep Us Together”? Yes indeed, once reserved only at Shuffleboard conventions and occasional runs in Vegas, Neil Sedaka will be taking the Main Stage on July 4th! “Securing Neil to perform on our Main Stage was no easy task” said Derek, one of the leaders of Chicago’s 2nd Biggest event of the weekend. Apparently Neil’s Rider, a part of the contract that addresses the artist’s needs, is fairly extensive. There were a number of things that Neil required in his dressing room. Derek told us, “I guess the first thing we’re gonna have to do is find a dressing room… I figured we’d just have a chair… Mr. Sedaka frowned upon that suggestion.” Neil has requested 2 tanks of Oxygen which Derek was happy to acquire from a local Dentist (wink wink). Negotiations with Justin Bieber’s “People” to have him sit on the bench of a dunking tank filled with piranhas is moving along with little progress.
Early information has caused me to believe that the event will be held on property owned by Indians. I know what you’re thinking, “Tech Support and Internet Connectivity will be Awesome!!!” No my friends, when I say Indians I’m talking Tee Pees, not Tech Support… When I called organizers in an effort to get more accurate information as to the location of this camp, I was told by the group’s leaders, “It’s about a mile and a half south of None of Your Fuckin Business.” According to unofficial reports, a gaming permit has been applied for by an individual named “Haywood Jablowmee” from Oregon. Suspicious to say the least. Fans will be able able to bet on a number of things throughout the course of the weekend and all proceeds will benefit some kind of Foundation that does good shit. So far the odds of leaving the weekend with crab lice are 3 to 2. Odds of being asked for spare change by someone that spent $700 on their tickets are 6 to 4. There’s no odds on doing something you might regret on Monday because chances are too close to 100%. There will be a multitude of other fun things to wager on so stay tuned! You can stay up to date with all the breaking news on the 50th Anniversary Acoustic Acid Test at their Facebook Group
With Official Announcements of Santa Clara coming in a mere heartbeat, the community should be bracing for impact as a fresh wave of complete joyful exuberation followed by weeks of whiny bullshit will be taking off quicker than Neil Sedaka once his set is over. The Official Announcement is a secret that’s been kept from the public about as good as Clay Aiken’s sexuality. It’s clear that the announcements coming at us from Grateful Dead Land are sure to reclaim complete and total internet and media dominance. This space is getting hot…