Twas The Night Before Christmas and here in my hood
I was hoping to lay down some Festivus wood
The Stockings were filled with Oteil’s Favorite Kush
By the culturally sensitive Holiday Bush
The children are sleeping, with dreams in their head
Hoped for some toys but got Dead tix instead
Mom in her Yoga pants and me hard as stone
Assembling shit when I’d much rather bone
I needed a break so I head to the shitter
And read Barlow’s rants about Trump on The Twitter
I thought he was sick but he seems so much stronger
Maybe the election has helped him live longer
“Shit’s getting weird!” said The Elf On The Shelf
Trump on a Thank You Tour thanking himself
The Moon on the snow like a yard full of jewels
Washington D.C. gets a new Ship Of Fools
A sled landed softly in my yard to the rear
A scraggly old driver that looked like Bob Weir
Busy as bees that are vomiting honey
He picked some new tunes that were sure to be MONEY
Stepped out of his sleigh and wrote them all down
“We’ll encore with The Weight when we come to town”
First down the chimney, Jeff came with a bound
As hard as he hit, still couldn’t hear a sound
If I controlled volume, there’s one thing I’d do
I’d turn up his keyboards ’til feedback came through
Then down just a little, yup, that’s what I’d do
Next was Oteil with a big Christmas Trunk
He ate cornbread and beans and smelled like a skunk
Mickey and Bill down the chimney they came
You could only hear one that I’m not gonna name
I surely love Mickey and all of his licks
Just drop the spatulas and pick up some sticks
The women all waiting and full of desire
For John to come down, It’s Mayer, not Meyer
Like picking the tempo of songs to be played
Bob was the slowest, his arrival delayed
My living room filled now, with my favorite band
I helped Weir off the floor, I gave him a hand
Jackie Greene is here with that fuckin Fedora
Shapiro stops by to light the Menorah
The band started playing and I knew this was it
Since Bob picked the speed, it was slower than shit
They started by jamming a tune just like Space
My nipples got big as the smile on my face
I thought about Summer and what would await US
I care less about Mexico, just get me to Vegas!
The spacey Jam grew and became twice its size
And out of the meltdown, they opened with Eyes
It all brought me back to a real special place
Where Oeil took the Owsley that melted his face
Then in an instant, they packed up their things
Flew away on a eyeball with huge fuckin wings
They didn’t say “bye” they just vanished instead
That’s how it goes when you tour with The Dead
“See you come Summer!” they all said with delight
Merry Christmanukkah to ALL and to ALL a good night!

All The Best to you and yours! Love you forever!!!
Dead To The Core,
Dean Sottile (pronounced So Tilly)

@gd50th on Twitter

Grateful Dean on Facebook

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