Tag Archives: Stinson Beach Office


For Throwback Thursday here’s the first thing I wrote that went a little viral in the GD Community one year ago today. The ride of our lives was just taking its first steps. Love y’all forever!

Dean Sottile (pronounced So Tilly) here, officially reporting from Stinson Beach, California by way of the Internet. Die hard fans of rock and roll hall Of famers, the Grateful Dead, have singlehandedly solved the economic crisis that crippled the United States just yesterday. The US Postal Service became profitable for the first time since 1995 as Dead Heads flooded the country’s offices mail ordering requests at a chance of scoring tickets to the 4th of July event in Chicago.

The Grateful Dead, whose mail order process has been updated about as often as their followers’ clothing, still requires fans to send individual postal money orders for every show they plan to attend plus individual money orders for separate shipping charges when applicable. One of the bigger problems facing those who choose to mail order their requests was figuring out how to fit a #10 sized envelope into another #10 sized envelope.

People who couldn’t afford dental work or diapers last week, have now floated $7,000 into the mail system for an undetermined amount of time hoping to secure the magic tickets. Some fans simply chose to put stamps on their self addressed envelopes because after purchasing $7,000 worth of tickets, $20 is too much to pay for shipping. When asked about the activity of the past day, Vern, a postal employee from Macon, Georgia said, “We dun run flat outta dem dar muney erders!”  Vern said he didn’t know anything about Dead Heads but was familiar with crack heads who typically pay their past due electric and water bills with money orders.

Many fans channeled their inner Picasso decorating their requests in hopes of being noticed far more than those who obviously can’t draw worth a shit. Social Networking sites posted pictures of elaborate fan art as it became obvious that many people spent more time on this envelope than the typical rock star spends with their children during the course of a year. People with far less artistic ability, once seeing these posts, began signing up for a chance at the Internet pre sale immediately. They’re clearly screwed like a tied up goat on the hills of Greece.

The Grateful Dead ticket office, in Stinson Beach, California, is getting more action this week than Bob Weir on the Europe ’72 Tour. The last time this many requests came in fans were chanting, “Let Phil Sing!” a chant that hasn’t been heard since 1995 but in recent years has left fans wondering, “What the hell were we thinking?”

Message boards continue to be filled by posts ranging from the Grateful to the Hateful. When asked about the current chatter, Jeff Chimenti, who will be manning the keyboards for the historic event said, “I’m just glad all those bitches have left me out of the conversation like a one legged man at an ass kicking contest!” Interestingly enough, when Trey Anastasio was asked about the multitudes of opinions coming in from Grateful Dead Land he said, “I feel like the only ass that showed up for the ass kicking competition.”

The answers given on interviews clearly show that this group of musicians are on the same page and are already showing signs of creative chemistry. You can be sure of one thing, They both will be there and they both will make it apparent, early and often, why they were chosen. It’s well known that Trey has made having red hair cool for the first time in history. As a Phish fan with over 200 Shows under my belt since 1991, I couldn’t be happier with the selection.

Wrapping up this mail order edition of the official source of unofficial anniversary news, I leave you with this: it’s a big ass stadium. There’s a HUGE heap of tickets. If you don’t buy them from scalpers, scalpers can’t sell them. When scalpers are holding thousands of dollars of tickets that aren’t selling on the secondary market, they begin to shit all over themselves like their assholes blew out. When that happens they begin to sell tickets like deck furniture on their sinking Titanic that was built from unrealized hopes and dreams of riches. They begin taking anything they can get in order to escape from under their botched delusions of grandeur. Do everybody a favor and do your part as well in assisting a scalper to eventually shit himself. Keep that in mind please and until next time, stay grateful my friends!

Gratefully Yours,
Dean Sottile (pronounced So Tilly)


As journalists and pop up bloggers continue to write reviews for shows that happened 2 weeks ago, The forces behind GD 50 are looking forward. Since pulling off the greatest celebrations the Dead Community has seen since Bill Graham served breakfast following New Year Shows way back in the day, Peter Shapiro has had more sunshine blown up his ass than a burrowing groundhog. He deserves the props! The best thing anyone involved with The Dead Community has in their favor is a fan base with essentially little to no memory at all. Unless of course you ask about a show that happened 40 years ago in which case the song list, including any intricacies of the songs played or special guests, can be recalled in an instant. As for what happened last month… No friggin clue… I’m grateful at times for the damage that was done to my grey matter throughout the years because it helps me forget who I was supposed to be pissed at most of the time. The absence of memory has served me tremendously over the years. Except in certain cases… One of the longest things I’ve ever participated in was playing a game of Concentration with another friend from Tour… Lasted for nearly 2 days before we called it a draw… What the hell was I just talking about???

While newly emerging writers are busy throwing their 2 cents into the pile of the past, GD 50 is already looking towards the future. According to Officially Unofficial Sources, Carlos Santana said a bunch of shit in Spanish ending with the words “Grateful Dead”. He booked flights into NYC for November on Orbitz because he got an email that boasted about Flight Deals and Specials that were for “this week only”. When asked about the possibilities of more shows, Peter Shapiro looked at me from atop a newly purchased Throne of Royalty in his office and, like Mel Brooks, said, “It’s good to be da King!” That was all… The one prevailing hurdle to jump is finding a way to erase all written and audio files containing statements about this being the last time these guys will take the stage together. Billy was overheard at a bar saying, “All we have to do is replace Ginger with Carlos and BAM! Problem solved!!! Totally different guys…” When people asked Mickey what he thought, he just said, “I think more people should read about The Beam, baby!!!” It’s clear that something special took place over those 5 nights and it seems like the band is rethinking the possibilities of a few more. My newly upgraded status has elevated me from an Absolute Nobody to just a regular Nobody on the verge of becoming almost a Somebody. Because of this, I was able to get in touch with people who say they know people inside the Lesh Camp… Apparently the conversation there revolves around removing Jeff and Bruce since that would get rid of 2 paychecks and nobody could hear a damn thing they played anyway… When I brought this up to Hornsby, who was still upset that his accordion was intentionally “misplaced” for 2 weeks, and asked how the band might be able to play more shows given the situation, he threw another member under the bus by saying, “Nobody heard a thing Mickey was playing either with those rubber spatulas… We can get rid of him maybe. There’s a solution.” The plot is thickening… I tried to get a word from Scott Allen, The Dead’s Unofficial biographer, but he was unable to speak due to swelling on his lips after having them surgically removed from Phil’s ass… One thing is certain, the bond these guys have formed is remarkable!

The tension of deciding whether or not to announce more shows is now up against the strategy of dealing with all possible reactions from the Faithful. While one might imagine the majority to be extremely happy, the behavior of the Deadicated is never easy to predict. People have returned to arguing about shit that happened in 1984 this week as conversations have begun to return to where they were prior to Fare Thee Well. For many, the emotional hangover still lingers. Doing things like picking up Dry Cleaning and dealing with kids that never listen to a damn thing they say is often enough to make the average Deadhead begin packing up the car and threatening to hit the road. The only problem at the moment is having nowhere to go just yet… The sole comfort that comes with any given day is the opportunity to tell somebody you don’t even know that you were in Santa Clara and/or Chicago. While I’m at it, am I the only one that occasionally walks up to somebody wearing a Steal Your Face on their shirt and makes a comment about The Dead that gets returned by that look that says, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Apparently, people have purchased shirts from Kohls without any damn clue that there’s a band and a community centered around the clothing. That’s a ridiculous shame… How ya gonna go around wearing a Stealie and not have a clue who the Grateful Dead are??? Happened to me twice last week trying to tell people I didn’t know about being in Chicago…

Phish is kicking off their Summer Tour in Oregon next week which will bring their version of the traveling circus through a town near you. For those that got to know Trey a little better during the Fare Thee Well Shows, maybe you’ll take your heads out of your asses long enough to listen to what they’re putting out nowadays. When those brothers are in sync, they provide an experience that’s second to one(Not a typo)! I’m interested to see if all the work Trey put into preparing for the Fare Thee Well Shows translates over into his sound this Tour. I don’t necessarily expect Dead Tunes, although Trey and Mike have both been playing a lot with our favorite musicians, but I do wonder if Trey’s overall sound will be a little different than what we’ve heard in the past. I wouldn’t be surprised if a few of our Phish favorites get some Dead treatments. Regardless, I look forward to Trey getting back to that “Staring Into Space” Zone. He came with his head down and nose to the grindstone during the past few weeks. I never saw him look at his guitar so much while he played. Y’all better look out when Trey starts squinting with that face on like he’s squeezing out some gas, looking up into the sky and playin the hell outta some shit! Didn’t see that in SC or Chicago but it’s coming right up!!! Also, With all the credit Caitlyn Jenner has been getting for being so brave, I’m a little pissed that Jon Fishman never got the credit he deserves. He’s been wearing a dress in public for decades. It’s clear the media is prejudiced against hippies. Jon is a pioneer for transgender awareness in the music community and has done as much for that segment of the scene as Phil has done for people who need Organs. Maybe if Jon wore Versace things would be different… If Caitlyn Jenner got the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the ESPYs, I nominate Fishman to get some kind of Courage Award at the Jammies. That’s all I’m gonna say about that…

The folks at the GDTSTOO are currently dealing with partial refunds and have said that refund requests are coming in at the same rate RatDog mail order requests used to come. Not too many at all… When asked if there would be anything for them to do in the near future, employees at the ticket office were told that they would begin sewing sneakers for New Balance and Puma as soon as refunds were processed. This may lead to a slower return than most were hoping for… Keep your eyes out for more news as it arrives! Lockn will be making some cool announcements in the weeks to come and there’s a whole bunch of Magic just brewing!!! I might be full of shit but I also might not!!! Talk to y’all soon!!!

Dead To The Core,

Dean Sottile (pronounced So Tilly)