Dead & Company’s tour came to a screeching halt when the member voted, “Least Likely To Have Fucked Up Shit Happen With Their Health” had some fucked up shit happen with his health. I always spend some time during my day meditating on the health and well being of my favorite musicians. I gotta admit, I spend less time on Mayer than anybody. While I’m praying for Bob’s temperament, Bill’s spine and visualizing Mickey’s gallbladder free from stones, I always just pass by John briefly meditating on him keeping all his hair or something. News of John’s appendix spread pretty quick and by 3PM, I imagine his hospital room looked like the New York Botanical Gardens. After all the menus circulated last week regarding everyone’s food choices on tour, I’m starting to think y’all might wanna eat some ribs and shit. Apparently, all that shit masquerading as health food fucked him up. There’s really too many jokes that could be told regarding this but for now John, You’re gonna want a bed to rest your pretty head and a little sympathy.
I’m one of those fuckers that always tries to pull the positive out of any given situation so I’m hopeful for the future. I don’t know if Garcia ever lost his appendix but we all know he lost a finger. Having lost something other than a girlfriend and maybe a watch now, I think John may be a little closer to the master as he woke up this morning. Garcia’s handprint is the most iconic handprint of all time. The image alone has generated more revenue than any image of a hand in history. Families have survived selling images of it. The Grateful Dead community has always excelled at making lemonade out of lemons. I can’t let this opportunity pass me by and I’m gonna capitalize on something for once in my life! Before the product makers out there beat me to it, it’s time for me to strike some paydirt around here. I feel a new iconic image I’m the making. I’m introducing a new line of shirts, hats, pins, mouse pads and posters. Here’s my new product line to go along with my Make Peter Black Again attire announced earlier this tour!
T-Shirt #1 is called “By the Fireside” $27.77
T-Shirt #2 is called “Steal Your Appendix” $27.77
T Shirt #3 is “Til The Morning Comes” $27.77
There’s more!!! The Officially Unofficial Tour Poster for the 3 postponed shows from Fall 2017. It’s 98″ by 72″ and is a Limited Edition, signed and numbered. (Limited Edition means Limited to the number of people that buy it forever) Only $777.77
John, we Love ya bro! I’m glad you’re OK! You bring a lot of great things into our world and I appreciate you! I’ll never stop with the jokes but beneath it all is a deep respect for your talent and most of all your humor! Thanks for being somebody that makes so many people, including me laugh. The world definitely needs more laughter! Onward we travel! Florida just turned into a golf trip.
Love Y’all forever!!! We Will Survive… See ya down the road…
Dead To The Core,
Dean Sottile (pronounced So Tilly)
@gd50th on Twitter
Grateful Dean on Facebook
Grateful_Dean on fans.com